Ah, Christmas. The season of joy, twinkling lights, and if we’re honest, running ourselves ragged while pretending we’re completely on top of it all. If you’re a woman in your 50s, single or not, or really anyone who tends to carry the mental load in your household, you’ll know exactly what I mean.
Because here’s the thing. We take on more than anyone else. We’re not just buying the presents, decorating the house, or making sure everyone has the right socks in their school uniform. We’re also remembering everyone’s birthdays, arranging school carols, keeping track of who’s bringing what to Christmas dinner and somehow managing to hold it all together while everyone else looks blissfully unaware.
It’s the invisible labour of the season, and it’s exhausting. I think of it as a 70-litre backpack we carry around at all times. It’s packed with lists, plans, emotional weight, last minute teacher gifts, wrapping paper chaos, food shopping and all those tiny tasks that no one else sees but would absolutely notice if they weren’t done.
By the time Christmas Eve rolls around, we’ve often been running on empty for weeks. And yet there’s still the expectation that we’ll keep the house sparkling, the food perfect, the family happy and the kids smiling. Spoiler alert. It’s impossible.
So, here’s the truth. We can’t do it all, and we shouldn’t have to. A little honesty, along with a sprinkle of strategy, can make the season feel much lighter. This is how I tackle it each year.
1. Postpone what you can
Extra meetings, projects, and social events can wait. If you can possibly move them to January or February, do it. Our calendars fill up fast, and Christmas is the perfect time to be a bit ruthless about what we commit to. If it’s not urgent, it’s allowed to wait. Saying no, or even just not right now, is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
2. Cut out what drains you
The house does not need to look like a magazine shoot, and no one will care if the wrapping paper is a bit wonky. Delegate where you can. Get the kids to wrap presents, make cards, or take charge of part of the meal. This isn’t shirking responsibility. It’s survival. The less that drains your energy, the more you’ll actually enjoy the moments that matter.
3. Prioritise your own nurturing
Even ten minutes a day makes a difference. Drink your morning coffee in peace, go for a short walk, read a chapter of a book or simply put your phone down and breathe. In our house, we have a small midweek ritual that’s completely non-negotiable. It’s our reset button. A reminder that self-care isn’t indulgent, it’s essential. When we’re calmer and happier, everything feels more manageable.
Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, perfection is usually overrated. But it can be joyful, funny, and genuinely meaningful if we stop carrying the 70-litre backpack on our own. Share it. Delegate it. Delay what you can. And take care of yourself.
The truth is, if you don’t take care of yourself, nobody else will. And you deserve a Christmas where you’re not just surviving, but actually enjoying it, even if it’s only a little.
Ange is the Managing Director of egg listed business direction Counselling & Training. She helps individuals and couples untangle their minds, recharge their energy and step into life with clarity, confidence and resilience.
